My Spanish Home Visitor Rules

Visitors Rules

Most of us like having our annual visitors to stay but sometimes the welcome wears a bit thin. One of my friends, at the end of her tether, sent the following to her family, not entirely tongue in cheek. Does it strike a chord?

Dear all,

Yes of course we would love to see you again this year, but we have to tell you that there will be a few changes:

1 We recommend that you hire a car from the airport as we no longer do free airport pick-ups and deliveries.

2 Day-time flights only, please. We go to bed at midnight, so no middle of the night flights (however cheap)

3 We no longer complete with the all inclusive hotel holiday deals. We do not provide breakfast, lunch and dinner together with all-day snacks and of course alcoholic refreshments. We will of course tell you where the best menus del dia can be found.

4 We do not have a live-in-maid, so you are responsible for making your bed, mopping the floor and keeping the bathroom clean.

5 We do not provide a free laundry service so please bring your own hand, bath and beach towels, or contribute to the soaring cost of electricity to keep washing ours for you.

6 Our daily, free sightseeing trips to local places of interest have been cancelled because we are sick to death of looking at the save caves and views etc over and over again. We will provide maps and information for you to explore on your own.

7 Our free telephone service to the UK has been suspended, use your own mobiles.

8 You may be on holiday and want to stay out until 3 in the morning, but we live here, so keep quite when you come home.

9 Should you wish to spend time lazing around our pool and prefer to stay in, we shall expect help with food preparation, shopping etc, we will operate a joint kitty, from which all food and drink shopping cost of petrol for joint trips etc will be deducted.

10 We are retire and living on our pensions which, due to the awful exchange rate and decreasing each month – so we were considering coming over to you for two weeks instead.

What dates did you say you were booking?